The Simplest and Stupidest Ways to Save Money!

Posted on 17. Jun, 2009 by Stuart in Frugal Tips

Before we go any further, I have to give credit for this post to the folks that post over at The Coffee Lounge at Yahoo. They are an hilarious bunch of people, that have a scarily similar brainwave pattern to Kramer from Seinfeld!

Saving Money on Your Grocery Bill

• Peel your bananas before you get to the checkout. The skin is the heaviest part, after all … and you just throw it away!
• Do the same for oranges. Why pay for something you won’t use?
• Mints cost a fortune at the supermarket. Make your own by drying blobs of toothpaste on the windowsill. Striped toothpaste will make humbugs! If you’re an absolute fanatic, you could spit your toothpaste into a cup and leave to evaporate before trying the above. It’s only your own saliva going back into your mouth, after all…
• Got a hankering for some toffee? Mix up half a cup of tea and half a cup of coffee. There you go!
• Get two bottles of dishwashing liquid for the price of one by putting one in your trolley, and the other inside your jacket. It’s almost too easy! (See disclaimer before trying )
• With tax hikes on alcohol it is getting more and more expensive to have a little fun on the weekend. You can at least get the same ‘morning after’ feeling by simply drinking cold tea instead of beer, then drinking a thimble full of washing up liquid and falling down your front stairs. (See disclaimer again!)
• Expensive takeaway peppermint cappuccinos can easily be replaced by brushing your teeth in a cup of Nescafe.

Saving Money at home

• Why light up a whole room, when you only need to see a small piece of it at a time? Miner’s hats are a great way to save money on your electricity bill.
• Paper shredders to prevent having your identity stolen are expensive – but you can re-create the protective effect by simply putting the dog poo and the bank statements in the same bag!
• There’s no need for a washing machine, dryer, or the electricity to run them anymore with this tip! Simply give your dirty clothes to an opportunity shop. They’ll wash and iron them, and you can buy them back for fifty cents each.
• Looking for something to do? Jigsaws are expensive, but you can get just as much enjoyment by buying a packet of frozen chips and trying to piece the potatoes back together.
• Save on personal address books by simply crossing out the names of everyone you don’t know in the phone book. Cheap and thorough.
• Heating is one of the average household’s biggest electricity consumers. Whenever you feel cold inside your house, just pop outside for ten minutes. Then you’ll really appreciate the temperature inside. Also works quite well on complaining kids
• Burglar alarms and monitoring are completely unnecessary if you simply move everything in the house into the bedroom before you go to bed. In the morning, just move it all back! Also saves on gym fees.
• It costs money to get rid of old tyres, but you have a double whammy of savings if you simply burn them in your fireplace to heat your house! (Disclaimer again )

Save money out and about

• Binoculars cost a fortune – and are simply not needed! Stand closer to the object you wish to view and you can sell those old looking-glasses.
• Change your name to match your current car numberplates, and you have instant personalised plates!
• iPods are a big investment, and the kids have no doubt been hassling you for one. Simply tell them to think of a song they like, and hum that for the same effect. If they want to listen to something else, just hum another song.

Photo source: Erica Marshall